So lately I feel like I have put God on the back burner again. I hate this feeling. I know that God is number one but it's so easy to just say, "hey God is always there so He won't be mad if I don't read or pray for a little while." Don't get me wrong I know He is always there for us. But I think He does get upset when we do that. I know that when I don't do what He wants I feel crappy. I think it's like when your parents told you not to do something and you do it anyway. Then afterwords you are feeling guilty and you don't want them to find out. Well when we are doing what God wants then turn from that He feels like our parents do when we do something that they told us not to. I know that might not make scense but it does in my head.
Right now in my life I kinda feel like a failure. I know I shouldn't but I do. I haven't been reading my bible. I don't really have a job right now. (waiting on stuff for that) I slacked in school so when I go back I have a lot to do. I also feel like I never finish anything. Not just spiritually. School, church, and my weightloss. I don't know how many times I start working out and eating right then all of a sudden I'm back to where I was. I know I need to lose weight for very many reasons. I get depressed about it then I'm like who cares! I will never lose the weight. I know I can and I am so ready for this weight to be off. I have health issues because of it. This time though I have a lot of people to hold me accountable! This time it's going to work. But in the back of my head after I typed that was, "nah shannon you say that but you won't!" That makes me so mad that I'm already doubting myself. I guess that's my main problem. I doubt myself.
Another reason why I feel like a failure is I stopped reading my bible daily and praying daily. I still do them it's just not daily like I used to and that upsets me. I was doing really good there for a while about reading my bible. Then one day I skipped reading and never really went back to doing it. This is where you guys come in.....if you read this text me or message me on facebook and ask me if I have read or prayed today. This way I will have accountablity with that too. Let me tell you though, when I see you guys asking for prayer and I comment saying I'm praying I really am! I don't want you guys thinking because I said I don't pray everyday anymore means I don't pray for you when I say I do.
I am going to try to go back to school in the fall. I don't really know what I want to major in but I know I love helping people. Some people tell me I should be a counselor because I'm a good listener and give good advice. Not going to lie though that advice comes from God! Maybe that is what I'm supposed to do. I'll pray about it.
God loves you! No matter what you have done He loves you! I mean He did send His Son to die for you! Now that is LOVE!!!!!!
God Bless!!!!
~Shannon
